On learning to pivot
What does it mean to pivot ?
I feel like what I’ve been learning over the past year or more is mostly how to pivot when things don’t go to plan.
Maybe there’s something about this specific stage of life, or maybe it’s all just a normal part of learning how to adult well. But whether it’s been the ‘big’ things like dealing with multiple miscarriages and the shape of my family not quite looking they way that I’d always imagined, or the smaller, less permanent pivots like having to rearrange our family holiday last month because of an unexpected passport ‘mishap’.
Yes really… this August we had to cancel our family holiday to Croatia because we under-estimated how much time we had left on our son’s passport!!
(Sidenote to all British parents: You need at least 6 months + (calculated from your date of return) on a child’s five year passport to travel to many parts of Europe now since Brexit. Don’t be fooled into thinking an expiry is the actual expiry date).
Some of the other examples that immediately spring to mind are not that ‘small’, but they feel it in comparison to the absolute permanence of miscarriage or infertility. Things like not getting a book deal this spring because “christian books on miscarriage don’t sell”, or facing the potential of redundancy at work.
As I look back over the past year or so, the challenges I’ve encountered have felt many, but in each of the disappointments or uncertainties that life has thrown up, it’s been an opportunity to learn how to pivot…
Examples from the business world
To pivot literally means ‘to adapt, adjust, modify or improve something; to take a change of course or direction based on new information.’
I think sometimes the idea that things didn’t work out as we’d hoped can seem like a bit of a negative thing. But in business terms, pivoting is simply part of the continuous product innovation process and marketing cycle. Its a healthy part of growth.
It’s not about denying reality, accepting failure, or settling for second best. Far from it, in fact. In business terms, pivoting is about addressing current challenges, adapting to changing market conditions, and responding to fresh information. In other words - the ability to pivot is often the pre-requisite for success.
Just look at the examples of Apple (from failing computer company to largest phone manufacturer in the world) or Netflix (from mail-order DVD rentals to a global streaming site), Starbucks (from the sellers of expresso machines to the largest coffee house chain in the world), Suzuki (from weaving looms to motorbikes), IBM (from electronics to consultancy) or Wrigley’s (from soap and baking powder to chewing gum).
The point is that the world of business is just full of examples of floundering and failing companies that re-imagined the future and pivoted their offer accordingly to achieve unbelievable success. You see where I’m going with this?
Pivoting is not about denying where you currently find yourself. It’s about recognising it, but being resilient enough to not get stuck there.
Examples from the Bible
Learning to pivot is not about toxic positivity or faking being fine when you’re not. It’s not about denying our disappointment or minimising our pain. And it’s definitely not about looking at life’s challenges and calling them ‘blessings’. None of these behaviours are what it means biblically to ‘have faith’ at all.
Biblically speaking, I think that real faith is being very honest about about those ‘here and now’ hardships, disappointments and struggles that we face . It’s about being real about where we find ourselves now, and yet it also refuses to give up too. Instead, it fiercely clings to the hope of a redemptive God - who can - and will - make all things right in time too.
After all, the Bible is just full of stories about ordinary people who face unexpected challenges, disappointments, diversions, and interruptions to their own best laid hopes and plans - and then learned how to overcome something difficult by pivoting to something new.
After an easy start in life as his father’s favourite son, Joseph had to learn how to pivot after being sold into slavery by his brothers, then slowly rose to power in Egypt by interpreting dreams and becoming a key advisor to the king, and eventually saving the whole nation from famine.
Esther had to pivot after a hard start in life being born into orphanhood and being exiled to grow up in a foreign land as a jew, yet by pivoting found her way into favour with the King, eventually being made Queen, and seizing the opportunity to save her people from death.
Ruth had to pivot after losing her husband and home as young woman, choosing to leave all she knew to support her mother-in-law Naomi in a foreign land, before eventually laying hold of a new destiny through her marriage to Boaz.
After the early highs of defeating Goliath, winning battles, and gaining the love of his people, David then had to pivot hard to deal with many years of being exiled in the wilderness and fearing for his life, before eventually being anointed as King.
Mary and Joseph had to pivot from their own plans for their future life together, to trust in God’s plan when faced with unexpected circumstances, including Mary's miraculous conception and the decree for a roman census which took them far away from home, just as Mary was due to give birth.
I could go on. But you get the point… I think that the ability to pivot well is how faith in God is often outworked in practice.
Faith looks beyond the immediate and the seen, and it finds a better, more redemptive, and more long-term perspective.
Examples from my own life
On a personal level, I think that pivoting begins with being very real about where you are at - the disappointments, the setbacks, the pain - but it doesn’t stop there. We need to acknowledge it, deal with it, and then learn to pivot towards something else more hopeful.
Resilience says ‘okay so maybe not that, but how about… something else instead?’
For me, it looks a bit like saying, “Okay God, this was what I had wanted or expected or hoped for in this situation. But that’s not what has happened, or where I find myself now… so, what now? And where do we go from here?”
“So I didn’t get to birth all the babies that I expected to… So what now?”
Pivoting says: That season of my life was devastating, and letting go of the the motherhood I thought I’d have is something I’ve had to grieve. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand why God allowed all of that to happen, or why He didn’t answer my prayers. It’s not what I wanted to be my story, but it’s where I find myself now. So, can I work with God to bring something redemptive out of this pain? And in time, can I begin to recognise that there also some gifts in having a small family too? In what ways does this situation free me to pursue other things? And how can I learn to build ‘family’ in other, broader ways?
“So I didn’t get the book deal I’d hoped for with a big UK christian publisher who were considering my book proposal… So what now?”
Pivoting says: That decision was disappointing, and unexpected, because I though this was what God asked me to do. And it feels like I wasted a lot of my time pursuing an opportunity that went nowhere. But deep down, I trust that with God nothing is ever wasted. So how else can I share my story with people who need to hear it right now, even without that deal? And what other speaking or writing or podcasting opportunities has God given me to communicate his heart on this subject? Are there other things that could be even more impactful, and reach even more people than a book?
“So I’ve been told that my job is at risk and I could be made redundant next year… So what now?”
Pivoting says: I didn’t expect that kind of curved ball at this point in my career. I had expected stability not uncertainty, and it feels unsettling and a little anxiety inducing when I consider the potential financial impacts for me and my family. But I know from past experiences in this area, that God always provides for me. So if this change does affect my role, what other jobs might open up instead? How might God be leading me to invest my time and my skills somewhere else in this next season of life?
“So we missed our family summer holiday last month, because of a passport issue… So what now?”
Pivoting says: That was a huge let down at the end of our summer, because we were tired and really looking forwards to that break in the sunshine. But our ability to rest and relax and have fun together as a family isn’t dependent on our ability to travel abroad. Since there’s a summer heatwave happening, maybe we can still go away somewhere in the UK? And maybe we can also schedule another holiday abroad for later in the year too? Maybe it will even turn out better. Two holidays instead of one?
A few helpful phrases
So how does this work in practice?
I find it helpful to use some of these simple little ‘turning’ phrases that are often found in the Psalms and other biblical passages (often referred to as lament) that move the reader from a place of pain or disappointment, back towards hope. Phrases like “Even so” or “And yet”…
This wasn’t what I wanted. And yet… I know you still love me, and you haven’t forgotten me. (Psalm 34).
This wasn’t what I expected. Even so… I still trust that you hold all the details of my life in your hands (Psalm 139).
This feels hard, scary and unknown. But still… I know that you are with me, and promise to never leave me. (Psalm 23)
I don’t understand this. Nevertheless… I choose to believe that you are good, and that your goodness will keep pursuing me (Psalm 23).
I find that these little linking phrases are just so helpful when it comes to expressing how you feel, alongside something else that you also know to be true. So start weaving them into your conversations more!
Pivoting isn’t the easy option
As much as I’m learning how to pivot, lets be honest - it’s not always the easiest option, or even the first thing we think of doing when things go wrong. Instead, when things are difficult, painful or don’t go to plan, my first instinct tends to be to pray and ask God to just take all the hard stuff away…
And I’m not saying that it’s wrong to ask God to help us with difficult things at all.
It’s just that, in my experience, more often than not, He doesn’t.
And I think this is a really important issue to talk about.
Because when we approach God with this kind of consumerist mindset - when we’re constantly asking Him to fix our problems or take every hardship away, we are kind of missing the point! And it’s just too easy to get disillusioned, or even give up on faith altogether, because God didn’t do what we wanted Him to.
But the truth is that God is not a spiritual Santa Claus or Genie in the Bottle, sent to fulfil our every want, wish and need. In fact, the idea that God will remove all of the difficulties or obstacles that we face in this world which is still so broken by sin really isn’t biblical at all.
Jesus never promised to take all of our problems away. In fact, He explicitly warned his disciples that the opposite would be true in John 16:33:
“… I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
It can be tempting to get really caught up in trying to avoid every hard situation by praying ever more earnestly. And it can be equally tempting to waste time trying to theologically explain away the ‘why’ when difficulties inevitably do come eventually. Or the ‘why not’ when certain answers to prayer don’t come. But in my experience, without learning to pivot after those detours and disappointments hit our lives, we can easily become spiritually derailed or stuck.
Jesus says that His followers will have many trials and sorrows here on earth, but we don’t need to worry or feel anxious because He promises that He will never leave us. We don’t walk through hardship alone. We can be brave in even the hardest of situations because His presence gives us the strength, comfort, and confidence we need to overcome.
So let’s let these words of Jesus pivot us back towards hope, faith and fresh expectation.