Even when a situation looks finished (Martha’s story)

It’s been Baby Loss Awareness Week (8-15 October) this week, so I’ve been reflecting on my own miscarriage and infertility journey again, and wanted to share a few of my thoughts here…

I’ve been reading about the story of Lazarus this week (which you can find in John 11), and I’ve realised that I’ve felt a lot like Martha did in that story, as she watched her brother die.

I mean, Martha was such a faithful follower of Jesus and she had so much faith that he would turn up and heal her sick brother. And she put that faith into action, sending out word for Jesus to urgently return and help them.

And Jesus did respond, but he didn’t appear to be in any great hurry. In fact, he is seemingly so relaxed about his dying friend’s situation that he stays put where he is for two more days before even starting his journey back to them.

Now maybe that’s because Jesus’ view of the situation isn’t nearly as limited as Martha’s, and he see things beyond our human perspective. Maybe it’s because he already knows what is going to do next.

But even so, upon his final arrival at Lazarus’ home, Jesus is informed that his friend has already been dead for four days, and is confronted by an understandably angry and frustrated Martha, who says this:

‘Lord, If only you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ (John 11: 21)

‘If only you had been here…’ Ouch. Can you hear the accusation just hanging in the air? It’s your fault Jesus … If only you had come sooner … If only you hadn’t been so distracted and delayed … Why didn’t you get here faster? … Did we not matter enough to you?

Have you ever felt that way, or asked those questions of Jesus too?

I know I have. In fact, I asked them over and over again during our season of recurrent pregnancy losses. And more recently, I’ve also asked them on behalf of other friends who are walking through hard situations too.

Sometimes, despite our great faith, the story simply doesn’t end the way that we hope it will; the business still goes under, the diagnosis is still terminal, the relationship still breaks down.

And if we’re honest, like Martha we can often be left thinking, ‘God, why didn’t you show up? If only you had turned up sooner, it could have all been so different…’

I know exactly how it feels to have reached the end of what’s humanly possible to turn around.

I mean, for me, what could have been more ‘over’ in my situation than experiencing four recurrent pregnancy losses, while rapidly approaching the end of my fertile years, and reaching the very end of what medicine could do to help?

Like Martha, I too have stood besides the grave. When all the evidence says that the fight is already over. When the battle you’ve been fighting is as good as lost.

It’s so easy to feel defeated and to lose all sense of hope when we only focus on our natural circumstances, isn’t it? When we only consider the facts that are right in front of us.

But the incredible thing about Martha is that she doesn’t just get stuck in her frustration and disappointment at this point in the story, the way that I so often can.

Instead she adds this second phrase in, ‘But I know that, even now, God will give you whatever you ask…’ (John 11: 22)

Even now.

Even then, with her brother already dead and buried, she still held a glimmer of hope.

Even there, when she’s already graveside, some small part of Martha still believes that Jesus is able to turn it all around.

It’s so easy to write off our stories when things already look like they’re dead and finished, or damaged beyond any kind of repair.

When the cancer becomes terminal, when the fertile years have expired, when the divorce is already filed…

It’s so easy to give into the weight of despair when you’re standing by that graveside, and to surmise ‘Huh, I guess God just didn’t show up in time…’

But this story reminds me that even when we’re already stood at the grave of our hopes, when the outcome doesn’t turn out as we’d prayed, expected or longed for, God is still not finished working.

Even when we’re left standing amidst the rubble of our lives asking, ‘God, where were you…?’

Those circumstances still don’t have the final say.

Our broken situations are never the end of the story in God’s kingdom. Even death itself is not the end. Because he is the resurrection and the life.

Maybe some of us will see miracles here on earth like Martha did, and those dead things in our lives will be brought back to life.

But for many others (myself included), perhaps the real miracle is the fact that there was no earthly miracle, and yet we still believe.

Even now, we still believe that the story is not yet over…

He is healing, redeeming and making all things whole again.

And that’s a miracle right here in the middle of the story.

(PS. I’ve also just discovered a worship song that is based on this same story called ‘Even Now’ - by Orphans No More which is well worth a listen too.